4th Grade Narrative 작문의 좋은 예 (Score 4/4) 1

올해 CST 라이팅 테스트는 내러티브(Narrative)였습니다. 글의 종류중 내러티브는 사실 학생들이 가장 수월하게 쓸 수 있는 글중 하나입니다.

그러나 학부모들께서도 이미 알고 있듯 쉬운 장르이긴 하지만 학생들의 점수는 천차만별입니다. 물론 작문은 수학 과목과 달리 정답이 있는 것은 아닙니다. 그러나 분명 시험관이 봤을 때 좋은 글과 나쁜 글은 존재합니다. 이번주부터는 다양한 학생들의 글을 통해 좋은 글과 나쁜 글의 차이에 대해 알아보도록 하겠습니다.

일단 좋은 내러티브란 어떤것인지 똑같은 글의 종류가 테스트 예제로 나왔던 2년전 시험문제를 통해 좋은 점수를 받은 4학년 학생의 글은 어떠했는지 살펴보겠습니다. 그리고 이 글이 왜 좋은 점수를 받았는지 보완점은 무엇인지에 대해 다음주에 살펴보도록 하겠습니다.

 

“It has has been two weeks since I entered Spend-The Day With Tim Salmon contest, and I have not got a reply yet. I wish I could meet Tim Salmon. He is my favorite player on the Anehiem Angels. He is also one of the best hitters on the Angels.” I thought to myself as I was partly awake.

Beep, beep, beep!

“Huh? Wheres my alarm clock, I said lazily as I woke up. Ah, here it is. Wait, that time cant be right. It says I have to be at school in fifteen minutes.” Uh-oh, I thought to myself.

So, as quick as a flash, I got out of bed and leaped to my door. I took off my pajamas and put on a pair of jeans and and a t-shirt. I went down stairs and expected to see my mom in the kitchen, but I saw no one anywhere downstairs. There was no sight of anyone at all. There wasn’t even a fly. So, I went back upstairs. I went in to my mom’s room and I saw a lump of something or someone under the blankets on my mom’s bed.

“Wake up mom. Mom, wake up. Its 8:14. I’m going to be late for school.” I heard a wierd snort and a voice.

“Mikey, is that you? What do you mean your going to be late. You don’t have school today. Today is Saturday, honey,” said my mom. All of my insides froze.

“Oops,” I said.

“Yeah, oops,” my mom said back.

“Well, since your up, could you get the mail for me,” my mom said.

“Okay,” I replied. So, I went back downstairs and went out in the front yard and out to the mail box. There were three parcels. one was a hot water bill. Another was an electricity bill, and the last one was for me. I went inside and set the bills down and opened my parcel. It was a letter for the contest I entered.

 

“Dear Michael,

I am pleased to inform you that you have won our Spend The Day With Tim Salmon contest. We hope you have a good time.

 

Your favorite team Coach,

Mike Socia

p.s. Tim will be coming on Saturday at 9:00.”

 

Once I was done reading, I realized today was Saturday, and it

was 8:30.

He’s going to be here soon. No sooner was it 9:00 then the door  bell rang. Time Salmon was standing there.

“Hey, um, Michael, how would you like it if you came to our game at 11:00?” he said. “Sure,” I said.

So I saw the game. It was the last ining, two on, two out. Salmon was up. They were down by one. After five pitches, it was full count. The sixth pitch was down the middle. Salmon hit a three run homerun and won the game. I got the homerun ball, signed by Salmon. I even got to party with the entire Angel team. That day I will never forget.